


Sell Me Regrets

by NeverComingHome



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverComingHome/pseuds/NeverComingHome
Summary: Spoilers through season 2.23Barry falls for Cisco just as Cisco falls for Harry. There are some mistakes that can't be fixed.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Barry spent almost his whole life loving Iris. That sort of thing was pathetic unless you got the girl and he got the girl. He got the girl and then he spent the next couple years keeping the girl from getting hurt, from falling for someone else, and almost from realizing that two people can love each other, but fall apart for reasons that had nothing to do with each other.

He remembered the first trial run of his powers, crashing and burning with a purpose, feeling his limbs even though his face was numb. It felt like that.

“That makes no sense,” Cisco told him while they worked on his suit. When Barry didn't reply he looked up from the rewiring to see him turning back and forth on a chair in front of a blueprint, his gaze unfocused. “Brainstorm, what if we did some good old fashioned 80’s montage training? Like you’re always at top speed, but if you’re ever put in a position where you have to run like a normal person your cover is as good as blown.”

Barry shrugged. "Makes sense."

"Soo, yes?"

He smiled a little. "Yeah, let's do it."

“Yes! Eye of the tiger. Who needs shrinks when you’ve got endless fitness tests to run on a superhuman?”

“Me, still, probably. Definitely. All of us really.”

Cisco gave a hollow laugh and nodded, silence creeping in before they remembered the plan and leapt into action.

* * *

 

They started off in the park once a week then every other day, then most days and some evenings. The first few weeks Cisco would pull ahead and Barry would automatically kick into speedster mode, but after a month he figured out how to pull back and look like he was putting in his all when he wasn’t. After doing a morning mile in which Barry managed to not once take the lead, even by a hair, Barry dropped onto a park bench while Cisco opted for the cool grass in front of it. Cisco was wiped out. Running two miles a day was nothing for a speedster, but his body was rebelling against the sudden and downright offensive trials it was being subjected to.

“Could you at least pretend to be tired, for me?”

“Hold up.”

Barry glanced around to make sure the park was still empty then sped around the jogging path at top speed for a few minutes, collapsing on the grass beside Cisco with sweat on his brow. Cisco held out his fist for a bump.

“You’re the real MVP.”

“Good because I can’t feel my lungs.”

“Same.”

They both started laughing until their lungs actually did hurt, officially calling it a wrap.

* * *

 

Three months after the trials they were still meeting up every weekend to jog and otherwise goof off. Iris thought it was good for him after everything that happened. Cisco was dealing with the Caitlin fallout and Barry was coming to grips with the consequences of the battle on top of maintaining some semblance of a normal life in between work and being the Flash. It was a relief to shrug it off now and again to appreciate the concrete beneath his shoes and the wind touching his face as opposed to moving around the vortex created when he sped.

And there was Cisco who knew all the sharp turns to make in their conversations to avoid shattering the illusion that a messed up world was still out there waiting to be fixed and taken care of.

* * *

 

 “It’s getting late.”

“What are you talking about, it’s barely midnight.” Barry finished stretching and began to fake box the air in front of them beneath the streetlamp. “What, you have someplace to be on a Saturday night? That’s new.”

“Uh, excuse you, I have a hot date with one of the smartest men alive.”

“Exactly, so who could you possibly be ditching me for?”

Cisco wagged his finger and mouthed ‘funny’ while rolling his eyes hard. He took a deep breath and in one exhale told Barry that actually the date was with Harry. Since his help with Savitar he’d been staying with Jesse and helping Cisco find a way to save Caitlin. In working together they’d gotten closer and with his usual bluntness Harry had told Cisco he wanted to see him in a romantic setting outside the lab to determine the limits of their chemistry.

“That’s a very Wells way of putting it.”

“I know, but he's smart and hot so I let it slide.”

Barry had his hands on his hips and halfway through Cisco’s explanation he’d begun nodding and couldn’t seem to stop.

“N-No I get it. Silver fox, without the silver. Cool. Good for you.”

“Really? ‘Cause you look like you’re bugging out.”

“That’s because I’m so so **happy** for you. I mean one of us should be trying to have a normal life. No yeah, um, this is me being happy. For you. Cisco Ramon.”

He punched his shoulder playfully, but Cisco only squinted at him hard, eyebrow raised to its limit, until something in him decided to let it go. He held out his hand for a quick slap and fist bump then turned back in the direction of the apartment. Barry sped to the lab, pacing around the desk. It was a total non issue. He knew Cisco was bi, it wasn’t that. He also knew that Cisco had harbored a huge crush on EoWells so if that was his type then Harry was definitely the healthier option. The guy was a brilliant scientist who was always there for the team and would probably treat Cisco with all the respect in the world. There were a million things to worry about and as the answer for why he was currently freaking out surfaced Barry chose one of the other things and ran towards it (and away from this one) with all his strength.

* * *

 

There was a lot a person could ignore if they committed to it and Barry was very committed to ignoring Cisco’s relationship with Harry. It helped that Harry cut a clear line between personal and professional. Work was work and PDA was the furthest thing from his mind when they were at the lab. Sometimes Barry would speed in and catch them lingering, but never in the act. A hand on the back of Cisco’s neck or his mouth pulling away from the younger man’s shoulder; the ghost of a smile that was too warm to be innocent. As soon as he noticed Barry his hand dropped, chairs were pushed away, and smiles faded into a thin lipped line.

Outside of work was another issue. Barry tried to spend as much of his nights on the street, fighting crime, but even a city had lulls and he’d be forced back to the apartment they were sharing again after the split up with Iris. He could handle wandering into the kitchen at two am and seeing Harry in a pair of boxers getting a glass of water. He could even handle walking in to see the two of them on the couch with Harry’s arm slung over Cisco’s shoulder while they watched a movie.

What he couldn’t handle was the fact that every time they had sex they played classical music to drown out the noise. Not only did the music not drown out the odd moan, but Harry listened to classical music in general leading to Barry entering the lab and getting a cold feeling in his guts before he realized the two were just working.

* * *

 

“You should tell him.”

“How, ‘Sorry Cisco, could you not bang your boyfriend to Philip Glass, you’re ruining symphonies for me’?”

Iris laughed, kicking beneath the table at Jitters before taking a long sip of her coffee. “No, tell him that you’re jealous and you want to have like ten thousand of his babies so you’re moving out.”

“I don’t-”

“You think I can’t tell when you have a crush? It used to be on me, remember?”

“Which it took you like a decade to figure it out and only after I told you.”

"Are you going to wait ten years before you tell him, too?”

He changed the subject, she let him and he knew that she let him. She had a point and Barry made a lot of bad decisions but he never did it to hurt anyone. He was a good kid with too much power who jumped into heroism before thinking about the type of hero he wanted to be let alone what he was capable of. If he was wrong and Cisco didn’t have feelings for him he might lose his best friend and if he was right he’d be destroying another relationship. He thought of how positive he was that this was another world in which he and Iris were destined to be together, but maybe this should’ve been the exception and it was really Eddie and Iris who were meant to be but he’d ruined it.

Or maybe the reason he and Iris had split up mutually and maintained their friendship was because in every universe they were always meant to be in each other’s lives, but it was he and Cisco that were meant to be together in this one.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Eventually Cisco and Harry came up with a working prototype Frost Cannon that was supposed to dampen Caitlin’s powers and put Killer Frost back in her cage. Barry was tackling a flying meta intent on robbing a plane and killing all its passengers in the process. He’d barely delivered the perp into Joe’s hands when his headcom burst with activity. Caitlin had blasted off their own communication devices and Cisco was “recovering” at the lab. Barry was at his side before they could ask him to hurry back.

“What happened?”

“Cannon didn’t work.” Harry’s fingers were in Cisco’s hair, threading through it in the most personal gesture Barry had seen from him. “Well it worked, didn’t work like it was supposed to. She’s gotten too strong.”

Cisco’s hands were bandaged, but he took off the oxygen mask and flexed his bloodied fingers experimentally.

“I’ll make the adjustments. I know exactly what happened.”

“ _I_ can make the adjustments,” Harry interrupted.

Barry’s eyes were running quickly over Cisco, examining all his new wounds, “He’s right. Let’s get you home.”

Before anyone could object Barry’s mask was back on and soon Cisco was in bed while Barry wiped the blood from his hands and started to apply fresh bandages. Cisco had taken some painkillers and they began to kick in right around the time Barry had tugged his Vibe outfit off and changed out of his own suit. He knocked twice on Cisco’s door before entering to the find the other sitting upright, the gauze around his chest in stark contrast to the black pajama bottoms he was wearing and the blue energy emanating from his wrapped hands. It faded away as soon as he noticed Barry.

“Wanted to make sure I still had it.”

Barry nodded knowingly and took a seat beside him so both their backs were against the headboard.

“I remember a time when you didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Yeah, some superhero, huh? You never felt like that.”

Barry turned his head to look at him. “That’s because I had you telling me how awesome I was.”

“You’re still awesome, dude, like comic book, six seasons and a movie awesome.”

“Nah, I wish I’d been like that or I was like that for you. Maybe you would’ve trusted me more.”

Cisco shifted and winced. “You’re one of my best friends, Bear, I trust you with my life.”

Barry kissed him. Maybe there were better moments to tell Cisco that he loved him or that seeing him stare at Harry the way Barry stared at Cisco was breaking his heart, but there would never be a better moment to kiss him.


	3. Chapter 3

 

The word _shit_  cycled through Barry’s head on a near constant loop, time was sluggish as Cisco’s hand moved in slow motion to grip Barry’s t-shirt. Barry kissed him like he’d never get the chance to again; sloppily, their teeth bumping, his fingers wanting to dig into Cisco’s skin but also not wanting to hurt him anymore than he was doing. He wasn’t hurting him, yet, but he knew by the way that Cisco was throwing himself into the kiss that it wasn’t desire, but compulsion.

“Damn it,” Cisco growled while pulling away. “What are you doing?”

“I love you.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know, always? Maybe not always, but for a while and I don’t think it really hit me until recently.”

Cisco rubbed his mouth distractedly as if erasing the kiss. “This is Iris all over again.”

“No, I swear it isn’t.” Barry sat up, getting on his knees so Cisco couldn’t turn away from him. “I know it seems like that, but I don’t want to split you and Harry up.”

“What do you want then?”

“I just don’t want to keep secrets from anybody anymore. I came so close to losing Iris and I miss Caitlin so much. You’re important to me and if anything happens I want to make sure you know that.” Barry saw the muscles in Cisco’s jaw twitching as he clenched and unclenched his teeth, his eyes bright and pacing while his brain processed what happened. After a few minutes of silence Barry got off the bed and shut the door behind him.

* * *

 

Iris let him stay at her place considering the circumstances, but after a week of not talking she insisted he go over to Cisco’s to get the rest of his stuff, think about getting his own place and also grow up and talk about what happened. No sooner was his key in the lock did Harry open the door. Barry stood up straighter.

“I need my stuff.”

“If I recall Eddie Thawne punched you in the face for hitting on Iris.”

“Feel free.” Barry opened his arms, “I deserve it.”

“Pass, something tells me you’ll beat yourself up better than I ever could.”

“Probably right.” Harry stepped to the side, but as Barry brushed past him he grabbed him by the upper arm. “However, if you kiss my boyfriend again I’ll give you a run for your money.”

He let go of him and Barry stumbled momentarily, rubbing the spot Harry had clenched.

* * *

 

Maybe if they were all different people, humans, to be exact they would’ve bumped into one another in a grocery store or on the street, but in typical Central City fashion they end up saving the world (again) together.

The Saturday morning after they saved the world they ran quite literally into one another, Barry nearly phasing through Cisco before he hit the brakes to result in a mere tangle of limbs. It jump-started a back and forth mainly about how a speedster could be such a klutz and how a superhero with precognition didn’t see that coming. They both make the same pun at the same time and groan in chorus.

“Just like old times.”

“Barry-”

“Don’t say it. I should’ve figured out how great you were before someone else did.”

“I love you too and, hell, maybe there’s a Cisco out there waiting for you to love him back.”

Barry bit his lower lip, taking the outstretched hand that was offered and brushing gravel and grass of Cisco’s shoulder.

“Let me know when you find him.”


End file.
